To Our Black Fathers Who Stuck Around

To our black fathers who stuck around, I just want to say THANK YOU. See, it was never a part of society’s playbook to have you stick around. With a sick and twisted history of tearing apart our black families by removing the head (the male figure), you were supposed to perpetuate that same cycle of abandonment that has plagued our people for generations. You were born with a target on your back from the moment you stepped out the womb. You were not supposed to make it this far. You were not supposed to live this long. They had a grave with your name on it. They had a jail cell prepped and waiting for you. Despite the traps set for you, you persevered. Step 1. Thank you.

Thank you for choosing to step up to the challenge of being a father and assuming your responsibility.

There is a reason why it takes two to create a child, because the role of parenting is just too much for one person and is supposed to be a shared responsibility. Too often our black women are left to bear that responsibility on their own. **Shout out to our amazing black mommas and grand-mommas holding it down on their own. Much love and praise to you! We owe it all to you superwomen. We admire and adore you.** Black men, whether you are married, divorced, or single, thank you for choosing to step up to the challenge to be a father and assuming your responsibility, rather than simply being just a sperm donor.

My father showed me that love comes from within and that a man’s treatment of you doesn’t validate your existence.

Yes I’m a Daddy’s Girl.

I honestly could not imagine life without my father. The wisdom, encouragement, love, support and discipline I received from my father has shaped me into the ambitious, confident and fearless woman I am today. Without my father, I wouldn’t have believed I could reach for the stars when my teacher told my class we would end up dead or in jail. Without my father, I would have never applied and graduated from Penn State after my high school college advisor laughed in my face and told me I didn’t stand a chance at getting accepted. Without my father, I would have never known how a man should treat a woman that he loves, through seeing how he treated my mother. Without my father, I would have never known what unconditional love felt like. I would have never known the respect, responsibility and honor that goes into raising a family. My father taught me the importance of investing in myself and that beauty is fleeting. He showed me that love comes from within and that a man’s treatment of you doesn’t validate your existence. My childhood was filled with days at the park, summers at the library, and traveling across the United States, which instilled within me the true value of experiences and family time. My father, a well accomplished and educated black man, a husband and father of 5 kids, defied all stereotypes, beat the odds, and set the bar high, giving my siblings and I a perfect example to follow. Now I am blessed to see my amazing husband being that same example for our children.

Honor your children and treat their hearts with care, for they are the future.

To our black fathers who stuck around, it is because of you our children aren’t raised with abandonment issues, feelings of misguidance, commitment issues, fear of being vulnerable, resentment, not knowing how to love or searching for love in all the wrong places. It is because of you that we know what it is to be loved and valued. It is because of you that our sons are made into men and know how to respect, love, protect and provide for a woman or family based off of the example you have shown them. It is because of you our daughters understand how it is they should be treated by a man, and to respect themselves and their bodies. It is through your goals and accomplishments that your children are inspired. Just remember, your children are watching your every move. What ever you do, good or bad, they will most likely follow. From young, your children trust and adore you, until you prove to them otherwise. Honor these children and treat their hearts with care, for they are our future. Show them that they too can defy the stereotypes and that they are not bound by their circumstances. Steer them from the traps that society has set for them. Remind them of who they are and the power they possess. Enrich their lives through experiences. Understand that child support alone is a poor substitution for quality time. Cheer your children on every step of the way and be there for them when they fall. They will appreciate it in the long run. Show your children how to love. Don’t be hesitant to hug and kiss your sons and tell them that you love them. The role you play in the family is critical. Continue to set the example and pour into these young minds.

Our women need you. Our children need you. Our communities need you.

There are too many fatherless sons and daughters, which breed generations filled with pain. Hence, the proud “savage” dating culture we are currently witnessing. Thank you for breaking the cycle. Our women need you. Our children need you. Our communities need you. It’s sad that I have to applaud you for something that is your rightful obligation, because it’s a pity that some men don’t view it that way. Thank you for all you do. Your efforts are greatly appreciated and we love you. Black men, continue to do the right thing and be a positive role model for our sons and daughters. If you can’t do it for anyone else, do it for the culture.

For my black fathers who never had a father, let this be all the more reason for you to embrace fatherhood and be the best father you can be. Give your children everything you yearned for.

For my fatherless daughters, no man on Earth validates your existence or your purpose. All the love you need comes from the man above and your self worth resides in God. You are the apple of His eye. See yourself the way God sees you. If you desire to have kids, be with a man who WANTS to be a father.

To our black fathers past and present, Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for giving us your all when society tried to leave you with nothing. Thank you for being a father through action, rather than in name alone. To the black fathers who stuck around, and continue to stick around, thank you.

Please share if you know any amazing black fathers or if you yourself are a black father. Share because in a world that tells our black men they are unworthy, we are here to let them know we value, appreciate and love them. Let’s give credit where credit is due.

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